Things You Should and Should Not Do During your soulmate hunting
I think they are basically the same if the relationship is in between the two from the same country or not. We are all human being after all. We need to be aware of that we are ‘individuals’ before we talk about nationality, culture, national character/traits and so on.
The first thing that I think is important is that you should not try to find it. If you are attractive as a person, I suppose that an opportunity/chance will naturally come to you.
Then you need to set up the ‘antenna’ of your heart so that you can catch/distinguish the chance you got. As I am not very logical thinking sort of person but normally judge things according to my gut feeling/intuition, it is kind of hard for me to explain… but for example; are you totally comfortable with him/her in the same space? Can you even share the silence (some time when you both don’t have anything to talk) without feeling awkward? In addition, the timing to be hungry, be sleepy, or feel like being alone… you have these little desire more or less at the same time as her/him, I think that you can probably feel comfortable spending time with the person forever.
After you found the person, you need to know and understand her/him deeply. If you can fully understand each other, and both of you are able to adjust to walk together with the same pace, I strongly believe that you can overcome whatever difficulties you may have, even though it’s an international/cross-cultural relationship. And if he/she is the right one, you should be able to achieve it anyway.
In case you have no choice but need to go through a long distance relationship…
The first and the most important thing is to ‘trust’. Some of my friends used to warn me that I should have doubts a bit more, but I think in this case of long distance relationship, you just need to trust (you need to force yourself to trust) by all means. Even if you have a doubt, you cannot do anything with it in front of the physical distance. There is no way that you can completely see or know what she/he is doing while you are not there with her/him, and there is no way to control it either.
It is natural to feel insecure. However, I think you should respect your darling love’s own life over there and attach more importance on making your own life greater if it is impossible to go visit her/him right now. Being absorbed in your hobby, concentrating on your job, there are many ways that you can have quality time by yourself without your love by your side.
I and my husband never fixed the specific call/Skype time like ‘every day at 19 in my time zone/at 10 in mine’ or something like that. We used to send pictures/videos using email or mobile apps or talk over Skype text messaging; to greet ‘good morning’, ‘good night’, or briefly tell ‘where to go today’, ’what I did today’..etc, so that we could share little things in everyday life. Basically we only had video calls in case we both happened to be online and one of us suggested ‘shall we video call??’. I reckon that we used to have video calls about twice a week (or less) on average. I think we had a tacit understanding/agreement; ‘we have different lifestyle/rhythm of life now so we don’t restrain/tie down each other. We should focus on enjoying our life even though we are not together.’ We were able to handle like this because we trusted each other.
By the way, if you have a good balance on your long distance relationship at the moment, you need to be careful so as not to lose it when you get to be together with the person again, for example when you start living together. It is always important, under any circumstances, to respect each other and think/act flexibly.
