Did you know more than 50% of people in Japan are single?
And there are more single women than men!
Yes, being a Japanese woman in this decade is not that easy …
Japanese Life style is the reason why it’s so difficult to be in relation. Normally, most of men start working right after university or even before because in our culture, work is priority. It is not unsual to start at 7h00 am and finish the day at 11h00 pm. This kind of life which is normal make it very difficult to have time to meet someone in real face to face.
Work is kind of proudness and if you go back in history, men has always been higher than women and as for today, there is not so much change. The way we think is still a little bit old style and it is very difficult for westerners to understand this in my opinion. While men work hard to reach higher rank in companies, women “normally” work for companies, shop, restaurant but rarely become owner or president. Talking about schedule, not so much different for many, still very busy day making difficult to meet.
Regardless of the gender, we tend to stay very strong in community unlike westerners that has shown to be very independent as a person. So if we think, the only place where we can meet would be at work.
Japanese education is very strict and very respectful. Everything we show must look good. We rarely raise voice in public, we never make bad comment to others, we rarely make eyes contact. It sounds strange but this is how we are raised. if we do something that is considered to be rude, that will be very bad worst than you imagine so we always try to be careful at what we do or we say or not say.
When it is about love, we are shy, more than you think. I don’t know any other country where people are that shy. Again, this is how we have been raised. So let say you are my co-worker, “normally” i will not show you directly with obvious signs that i am interested at you. As a woman, i will wait you do the first step, always!
Did you know this is prohibited to become couple with another co-worker working in the same campany? Yes, it is. Of course it is happening but it’s normally hidden. It’s not well seen by others so you can imagine how we have to hide it.
Web vs Night club vs Friends
Well, this is the big difference. In western countries, people go to night club to meet someone or get introduced by a friend. Work schedule are different as well, westerners have more time to enjoy life at evening and weekend, more vacation too. And more open mind, less shy.
Japanese is totally oposite, going to clubs does not work so much for a serious relationship. Meeting someone from a friend sometime work but not always. At least, thanks to the many festivals we have such as the Hanami (花見, cherry blossom viewing party) where we can be introduced by friends to other friends or even dinner event with co-worker at friday night …
I forgot to mention it but i often went to matchmaking parties which is common in Japan. It works more than going to night club obviously but i felt it was very quick and maybe to fast to discover the real personality of the person front of me.
And then, we finally all end up on the web. Dating website or any kind of site where we can meet people. Why? Because this is the perfect place to be. As a shy and busy person, we can contact much easily and choose who we speak to and we can reply to a message when we can, no pressure.
Imagine i meet a man in real today, in the first batch of questions i will ask will be “May i ask what is your job?”. If his job is too low for my expectation then i might dump him even before the end of the meeting.
On the web, we know the job status before we start messaging each other. This is just a simple exemple among many. And, because we all think the same way, it seems the web is more casual for all of us.
So you ask where do we meet normally for serious purpose, the answer is mostly from the web. The reason why i like to use the site here, “TrueLoveJapan.com” is because the system is exactly the way we, Japanese, think in daily life. We will never meet someone on the first day and we do not like agressive people. The site here makes the communication process just perfect and gentle.
Most of Japanese are looking for a serious relationship and in these days, it is not easy to find free time to meet someone. With an abundance of singles women, it is even more difficult to find a single man willing to start a family without affecting the work. Turning to the web helped me very much to compete with these real life issues and everything become more secure recently, even safer than meeting in real so why not!