How to spice up your marriage

How to spice up your marriage in bed

Valentine’s day is not the best day for everyone. Some are left aside, and this can hurt. With some tricks, it can be fixed very well, and learning how to break the routine in marriage is probably your best bet.

Do you remember your first date of how strong the feeling was so intense and pure? You guys were wearing your best outfit, and your heart was pumping like hell, Oh my. When you meet someone you are attracted to for the first time, your brain released Oxytocin, commonly known as the love hormone. If only we could purchase this love potion! The sensation from Oxytocin trigger your emotion at his most profound level. Some people compare it to cocaine, and that’s why we are all addicted to love.

But what happened once your relationship lost passion?
Yes, depression, and you certainly don’t want this on your valentine’s day.

Like most of the relationships, a routine is a primary relationship killing factor. In fact, it is the number one reason to break up / divorce in America, and you know why, because nobody likes it when it becomes boring.

A common sign of a dead relationship is when your partner is not taking care of him or herself anymore. AKA.: Stop shaving, becoming fat, no makeup anymore, no smiles, no hug.

Despite not being entirely happy, some people stay in a relationship by fear of being alone or losing everything. Still, we have to respect this because marriage life is not always easy.

At this point, if you want to spice up your marriage life, you have two realistic options.

Either you take your courage in hand and go away on your side for a fresh new start or, you start working on your relationship. But for that, both of you must be involved.

As a note, if your partner doesn’t show any sign of interest anymore, it might be the time to reconsider your current relationship. Sometimes a situation is simply too much to repair, and it becomes toxic.

And the best way to work out on your relationship is by spicing it up, and it’s actually very stimulating!

Last January 2020, TrueLovejapan did a survey involving 250 Japanese women and men from Tokyo and Osaka and 125 women and men from America in San Francisco. The answers were fascinating.

Let’s have a look together.


There is two way to spice it up.

Bring romance or bring something new.



1. Offering a massage with lotion always works. Don’t forget to light up some candles. Lavender candle is an excellent choice for its relaxing and romantic effect. Not only is massaging very romantic, but it can open some closed doors to another level. Use your imagination.

Don’t forget the candle and a good massage lotion with a relaxing smell.



2. Bring back some bottles of wine and make a special dinner. Wine will make you both drunk without being sick, and we all know being drunk remove the insecurity. Don’t forget to smile and bring some good conversation at the diner. No negative topic, though. It must be either funny or exciting. It is recommended to ask questions over talking about yourself.

If you want to have fantastic sex and get a nice little buzz going on, you should get a bottle of red wine. It is less likely to feel sick with wine than with strong alcohol.


Role Play

3. During the intercourse, slowly bring the idea of cuckolding. If you don’t know what is cuckolding, it is the action of watching your partner having sex with another person and still feeling some excitement while being jealous at the same time. In 2018, the survey showed that over 45% of men had this fantasy but were too embarrassed to talk about it. If you are not willing to do it in real but still want to pleasure your partner, It can be securely done by doing a role play. Role play is a fantastic stimulant in bed. In fact, in 2020, surveys show that over 55% of women and men are sexually stimulated by the idea of seeing partner cheating while watching. It’s an increase of 10%, and this is probably due to the ability to access the web so easily.

If it works, you can even bring it to another level and talk about orgies. Don’t insist if your partner doesn’t like it, though. Respect for each other is the golden rule.

Use your imagination!


Become an actor

4. Record both of you so you can watch it together while having intercourse. However, Both must be agreed, which means do it only if your partner is willing for it.

Film your intercourse might be more exciting than you think.



5. Watch porn together. In fact, many couples think watching it together is an excellent stimulant.

Try watching something that might turn on your partner but not the opposite.


6. Get back to the gym. It doesn’t mean to look like a model, but just the fact to go back to the gym will increase your testosterone; thus, increase your sexual desire. Your partner will notice a drastic change in the bed.

Get back in shape.


7. Do you know what your partner likes? Try to remember what is the big turn on, and you can adjust yourself for the special night. Don’t limit yourself because if you do, it won’t be exciting. It must be unique, so let yourself go freely.

Turning on your partner might be your greatest asset!

Go Public

8. Considering having sex in a place you both never did before is a must to break the routine. Think of movie theater or in a public place such as the toilet in the airport. Anything goes and be creative. That’s why it’s so stimulating.

Find somewhere very taboo. It will be more exciting for both of you.


9. Flowers! Yet, effortless but offering flowers often bring back some sparks to the relation.

Choose romantic flowers!


10. If you never tried it, bringing sex toys in the bed is an excellent way to spice up your relation. Just go slowly and don’t forget to bring a lotion.

You might be surprised how a sex toy may spicing up your couple.

Out of your den

11. It may sound too casual, but going out together with a group of friends for a drinking party is another way to break the monotonous routine. The fact of seeing other people is strongly recommended for couples in distress.

Going out with friends and your partner is a good idea to break the routine.

Get a little time for yourself

12. If you have kids, it’s probably a good idea to ask grandparents to keep the kids for valentine’s day. This will allow your couple to revive while releasing all the stress out of your body. No stress, no problem.

Bringing kids for a sleepover to the grandparent’s home might be one of the best times you will give to your couple this week.

Romantic Morning Breakfast

13. At the valentine’s day morning, if it’s on the weekend, making a romantic morning breakfast in bed might just spice up the day until the night.

Romantic morning breakfast in bed start the day just on the right foot.
Romantic morning breakfast in bed start the day just on the right foot.



There are so many ways to spice up your relationship. Actually, there is no limit, and that’s why it’s so exciting. As long as your partner follow you in respect for each other.

Don’t forget to keep your smile and put every problem behind, at least for the day!


Happy valentine day ❤


Amy Nakayama

Amy, Blogger in Tokyo and News Freelancer located in Tokyo.

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