dinner expectation on a first date

Expectation of the Japanese woman on a date

Expectation of the Japanese woman on a date

First time meeting ?


The expectation of the Japanese woman on a date is generally thought this way:


“When we are together, spend the time naturally in mutual respect. You don’t have to be nervous or something like that. Just have to spend time with me naturally and enjoy the moment .”


gaijin with Japanese girl on first date
gaijin with Japanese girl on first date

This is what normally Japanese girl tend to think. So you don’t have to be that special to make the date perfect, just be yourself without pretending you are someone else and everything will be just perfect.

A big note i must mention. Unlike western countries, every type of guy have their chance to find a good person in Japan. You can even be a geek or not the most handsome guy, there will always be a girl interested. I can’t explain why but Japanese are much less pikcy than western people so on this note, you don’t need to push yourself to much, again, be yourself, it will be just fine.

There are two type of women on a date and you wont probably know it before you have a little chat with her face to face.


  • Surprisingly, some girls are just looking for some fun time with a foreigner. Means nothing serious. Seems impossible, but it’s true. (Why I say impossible is because it is known that the Japanese are all looking for marriage, but it’s a false idea). Don’t be fooled by their timid face; some hide another wild side. Just be aware if this is not what you are looking for.

Advice: If you don’t know yet, not all of them, but some Japanese think foreigners have money and look so cool that they want to bring you as an accessory to show off in public or to friends (It’s true!). Don’t get into this if you care about feeling. If you are love proof, you will be totally fine. Roppongi girls (want it or not, it’s up to you), on most occasions, it will end up for sex.

Japanese girls night club in Japan

And you have the serious one. This type of girl is much pure and more enjoyable (depending of what you are looking for) but normally, they are not looking for your money or the fame to be with a foreigner. Many are just curious to discover how is the other culture and with time spending time together in mutual respect, love increase and lead to a beautiful end.

Japanese woman dating a foreigner man with success
Japanese woman dating a foreigner man with success


Girlfriend’s expectation of a first date:


Again, spend the time with her naturally! Being yourself is the key here in Japan. Only “no brain” girls prefer “wanna be” guys, at least here it is like that. You will see by yourself.

Enjoy the date yourself too by the way ! We often say, what you see is your reflection, like a mirror so don’t forget to enjoy the moment too.

Ask her the personal questions, see their reactions and hear what they reply!


These 5 are the most common expectations on the date from Japanese girls. (Tested!)


successful dinner, see her smile !
successful dinner, see her smile !


  1. When she wants to laugh, make her laugh !
  2. When she wants to take a rest, let her take a rest ! (Try to follow her)
  3. When it’s time to pay for the bill at restaurant, take care of it
  4. Talk about her, not yourself
  5. Be the host, decide where to go. Japanese like to be guided


Those who can do these basic manners will gain the heart of these beautiful Japanese ladies. Simple but efficient. Surprisingly, most foreigners have no idea how to behave, even if it sounds so simple.

You know why? The reason is if you only do the fun way like a clown 24 hours a day, she will get tired. Don’t forget, we are talking about serious Japanese girls here. A relation that will last more than a trip. But also, if we always take a rest, it will be boring as well so just follow her.


Final Advice:

There is a difference between being unique and being annoying. Japanese are shy people, so in public, you don’t need to yell to be noticed or make comments loud on strangers walking by, which I have seen many times from foreigners. Just be a gentleman and take care of your girl instead of focusing on yourself, and all will be just fine.

Now you know some basic rules and knowledge about the first date in Japan. Leave me a note if you have any questions!


  1. just my type of women and true lovers

  2. looking for life partner

  3. i am curious to know how this true love JAPAN IT WORKS

  4. Hi

    Interesting read I am having no luck in finding a partner in general. I have a few Japanese female friends that I met in London and there is one particular girl that is going back to Japan soon and everytime I have met her I have had lovely conversation I have never been able to take it further beyond friendship.

    Kind regards

  5. Hello,
    I have just arrived in Japan as an English teacher at Mainichieikaiwa( http://www.mainichieikaiwa.jp).
    Thanks for all these great pieces of advice.
    I will keep them in mind while trying to make my first Japanese girlfriend.
    Thanks indeed!

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